Embodiment?

Can we all agree that bacon is amazing? Before i go on with my post, i just want to clear that up because it will come back later...

i dont really embody myself well. Recently, i finished this book called Real Sex by Lauren Winner on a very unpopular subject popularly known as chastity. Tossing chastity aside for this post, (scandalous ;) i'd like to talk about a specific point in her book. Theo-speak follows: Winner talks about how the body is a created thing just like the spirit is a created thing and how they are both to be redeemed in the future.

The way i took that is that the body is important too. Therefore the idea that we are to spiritually evolve out of our bodies is unbalanced. Now if i walked up to somebody on the street and asked them, "are you trying to evolve to the point where you dont need a body anymore?" they would probably look at me very strangely. But growing up in the Christian worldview, this is how i have acted. i have acted in a way that makes me think that God thinks my body is ugly or not useful. And it might not be too far for me to think other people act this way too.

All that to say: i dont embody myself well. Especially lately. Last week i think i ate out for half of my meals that week. i havent run or exercised in forever. And the other morning i woke up and decided that i would like to finish all that bacon i had left over from my individual tribute to the month of April (National Grilled Cheese Month), and then i followed that meal the next week with my friends as we celebrated by eating about 3-4 grilled cheese sandwiches each and washed it down with 2 cans of Dr. Pepper. i've kept really strange hours, sleeping in, waking up early, i stayed up until 3 AM last night for the first time in who knows how long.

And my body is pissed! Let me tell you. i think i'm reaping emotional consequences as a result of screwing with my health! Two days ago i was alternatingly irritable and depressed.

Another thing. This could be a whole post on its own, but i have no idea how to use my body outside of sports, and its a very small list of sports. i can play frisbee, run, and... well, maybe that's it. Do video games count?

i cant dance. One friend of mine, after watching me butcher a line dance said, "James, you move like a stick" in the sweetest tone of voice ever. i wasnt mad because i knew of the truth of the statement. My dance style is characterized by an inability to dance and it makes for good entertainment and fun for everybody. i think that's great, dancing is for fun and i have fun.

So there's a theological way to say, "man i've been super lazy and super negligent." Good thing i get to spend the month of June working out and enjoying the outdoors in Maine at Acadia!

Sweet... Acadia.

Lest you think this is a "woe is me" post, well, dont think that. i'm disappointed in myself, but thinking about how horribly i ate last week is astoundingly funny and i see nothing but room for improvement (especially with my dance moves).

pass the bacon.

Mean People

i've absolutely loved listening to This American Life. The topics are fun, the speakers eloquent, and there's nothing more invigorating than digging into how people think.

Currently i'm thinking through an episode on how mean people have this allure, the kind that draw you in despite the distaste you claim to have for them.

Reminds me of my psychology class. We spent one day discussing rewards and in general rewards that were given unpredictably and sporadically seemed to be more successful in producing the desired behavior. The reason as i understood it was that the subject would work harder to figure out the rhyme and reason behind the reward, even though there may not really be one.

Reminds me of Arrested Development (just like everything these days). Michael is always seeking out his father's approval. Even though Michael is intellectually aware that his father is manipulative and prone to pitting his family against each other, he continues to give his father good ideas, which his father shoots down to keep Michael working for him. It's horrible to watch but makes for good comedy. Try to dissect that last statement!

i have a story of my own. Indefinitely in my past, i nursed an awful crush towards this girl. i was convinced she was the most beautiful person in the world, and still think she's absolutely gorgeous. One problem though, she seems to have no respect for me. In fact, i remember coming home from hanging out with her and feeling absolutely horrible about myself after taking what felt like an insurmountable offense of cutting remarks. Now i'm overly sensitive about these things, but looking back, i'm pretty convinced that i wasnt too far off in my assessment of the situation.

Funny how that works. For another indefinite amount of time i continued in the crush, feeling walked over a good chunk of the time, with just enough laughs to constitute sporadic and unpredictable rewards.

So what is it?

i once heard, i forgot who said it that:

we're running around doing things we hate to please people we dont even like.

What's the draw? What makes us seek this approval?

Grand Experiment

Actually, it's not so grand.

But ever since my junior year when i took psychology the way people think and interact has just caught my interest.

So today i think i'm going to play with some ideas. Nothing special, just do little things to see how people react.

If you wanted a glimpse into your friends thoughts, what do you think you would do to draw their thoughts out?

Maybe take a risk and see how they respond?
Maybe give them a kiss?
Maybe eat their lunch?
Maybe ask them a questions that might be just a bit past the line which your relationship dictates?

(i'm not planning on just randomly giving someone a kiss, so if you read this, dont worry about that one. All the others might be fair game though, i dont know yet)

It's a little strange i admit, but in the words of Bobcat Goldthwait:

Ya gotta make your own fun, Space Ghost, ya gotta make your own fun!